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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22466449">Near and dear(1/5)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/verumia/pseuds/verumia'>verumia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>[Akashi&amp;Kuroko] Near and dear [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Self-Harm, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:54:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,871</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22466449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/verumia/pseuds/verumia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko sees something unknown, Akashi knows that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akashi Seijuurou/Kuroko Tetsuya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>[Akashi&amp;Kuroko] Near and dear [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Near and dear(1/5)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>translated my work.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The surroundings quieted down. Neither the rattled subway system nor Kuroko remained the same. But everything became quiet. No, it got cold. Light from the driveway came in occasionally through the window. He peeked inside the window of the subway door. Silence. And there was no one.<br/>
It was strange. Even though it was always a crowded subway, no one took it. He could count all the people in the subway at a glance. Why didn't he feel incongruous when he saw people sitting motionless and just absent-minded?</p><p> </p><p> [Why did you do that?]</p><p> </p><p> The glass reflected it was shaped like a human being. The black one had two red dots on its face that should have other organs. The red dot the size of a baseball was like the waves were pounding the line.</p><p> </p><p> [Why? Should it have been me? Why? Why?]</p><p> </p><p> That is Kuroko's knowledge. No, Kuroko knows that. Kuroko felt sick and touched the subway door. The train rumbled along. The light that was coming through the glass no longer came in. The light in the subway blinked.</p><p> </p><p> "I..."</p><p> </p><p> His stomach hurts. He feels nauseous. he feels like throwing up. No, he wants to throw up. Memories of the past came up and choked him. The memory of never letting him go swallowed him.</p><p> </p><p> [Didn't you say so? You chose me on purpose. Why? Why? Why? I was the only one who had to go through it. Why? Why did I have to go through it?]</p><p> "Because! You are the best, the best..."</p><p> </p><p> In the memory of the surging past, Kuroko was a foolish man who had not seen the last appearance. If he hadn't chosen that day, if he hadn't set the time, if he hadn't called him, that wouldn't happen.</p><p> </p><p> [You killed me because we were close?]</p><p> "No!"</p><p> [Why are you alive? Why aren't you dying? You promised to be with me. Why? Why?]</p><p> </p><p> The black one moved and caught Kuroko. His breath has died out. He fell into pain. I'm sorry, too. I did nothing and heard everything from the news.</p><p> He regretted it. Everyone said it wasn't his fault, but it was a lie. Far from attending the funeral, he has yet to meet the bereaved family. They grew up together since they were young and had a meal or slept together at any time, but their parents were cut off because of that.</p><p> </p><p> [I'd be alive if it wasn't for you.]</p><p> </p><p> I know. I killed you. I tried to follow you when I heard the news. It was my fault. But I was scared, and I couldn't because I was really scared.</p><p> A scar with a full wrist and a lot of things that he bought for the future. It was still part of his life. Memories haunt him at night, and by day people's chatter nagged him.</p><p> </p><p> "Rather, I'd rather...Take me with you. Please..."</p><p> [Not yet.]</p><p> </p><p> The world was turned upside down by the tremor. He reached for it as it was fading like smoke. A tearful red liquid flowed from the red spot. The face, unable to tell whether it was crying or laughing, disappeared from the air.</p><p> It looked meant to mean that still a shortage. This pain is still small compared to that time. How many more years do I have to go through? How many more years do you have to go through to get me?</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p> "Kuroko, you really are..."<br/>
"I'm sorry. Where did I fell this time?"<br/>
"It was the subway station."</p><p> </p><p> Arriving at a hospital so familiar, Kuroko sat up with a white face.</p><p> Kuroko, who was originally weak, peaked at the age of 18. He couldn't play basketball that his favorite because of weak and he couldn't even go out of the Winter Cup too, which was his last. Kagami, who came back to play the Winter Cup after hearing Kuroko's condition, promised to win.<br/>
In the Winter Cup, Seilin won again, and the Generation of Miracles expressed regret over Kagami, who without Kuroko. It was the last game in high school, so the Winter Cup peaked at the height of its glamour and was great enough for professionals to come to see it. It was a fight between light and light, and because it merged with its colleagues and connected to a real fight.</p><p> After graduating from high school, Kuroko went on to write and gave up college. He often collapsed, and even his grandmother, who was the only caretaker, left him, and every time he was taken to the hospital, there was no guardian, and there was a series of mishaps that were not properly treated.<br/>
The Generation of Miracles who found out about it took a piece of paper with their respective numbers and set it as the background screen for Kuroko's cell phone. When the owner of the phone fell down, there was a message to contact, and when Kuroko fell down, the Generation of Miracles was automatically contacted.</p><p> </p><p> "subway station...?"</p><p> </p><p> Midorima said he collapsed before even taking the subway. Kuroko felt like he went to another world, so he fell down before then, but somehow he felt heavy because he felt like I had actually experienced it.</p><p> </p><p> "I'm sorry every time because of me."<br/>
"Don't fall down if you know. Why are you leaving when you can't even walk a lot?"<br/>
"I have a contract. I have to earn money to make a living."</p><p> </p><p> Midorima would have scolded more if Kuroko were to buy vanilla shakes, but he couldn't it. Besides, it's been a long time for Kuroko to sign a contract.</p><p> If Kuroko is not good at writing, he will understand, but rather, Kuroko is good at writing. He opened the story with a simple description and the plot was good. He wishes he had the next book, so Kuroko has no doubt about his ability. The problem was in his Miss Directions. Strangely, even if someone reads the book, it ends with "I Want to Read the Next Book.". It is natural to wonder who the author is and whether there are other works by the same author, but no matter how many times he or she read the book, they don't want to be curious about the writer. Even in the work, as if it were cut out, Kuroko had no presence.</p><p> </p><p> "So you made the deal?"<br/>
"I fell on my way."</p><p> </p><p> This contract has apparently been lost. Kuroko must have forgotten his appointment because he hasn't heard from him. Generation of Miracles sometimes forget him even they have been with for years, so he doesn't think people who only meet on contracts will feel awkward.</p><p> Midorima, who fiddled with today’s Lucky Item, the teddy bear, seemed to be depressed even though it was not his job.</p><p> </p><p> "I'm surprised, though. People usually choose Akashi or Kise."<br/>
"Huh, the difference in color preference."</p><p> </p><p> The Generation of Miracles too famous to write their name wrote the number in the color of each name. Aomine was bad handwriting in flying colors. So everyone didn't recognize the number. It was fortunate for him, who was busy making his name in the basketball world, but he complained that he had only once called. MurasakiBara was so lazy that he used it roughly while eating snacks. In addition, the phone didn't answer well, so 80 percent called a different number. Midorima wrote down the number and printed it because the lucky item was a printing machine on that day. He could get a small printer to carry around because of its good technology, but it seemed to avoid it. Kise and Akashi had the neatest handwriting, so they received the most calls and were always on the phone calls. Kise, who started modeling in earnest, maybe busy with his work but he has never avoided being busy.</p><p> </p><p> "I'm wasting your time. Are you okay?"</p><p> </p><p> With no tolerance, Midorima went to medical school. With such excellent results, he didn't miss the top and was just as busy as Kise and Akashi.</p><p> </p><p> "If I'm not okay, I'm not here. Akashi is supposed to come in the evening."<br/>
"Akashi-kun is busy..."<br/>
"Kurokochi!"</p><p> </p><p> Kise came in and sang Kuroko as anyone could see the sound of noise. Midorima sighed and Kuroko ceased to speak as surroundings became noisy only with his appearance. It was not insensitive for a popular model to visit the hospital room wearing only sunglasses. He might have said he was in a hurry, but considering Kuroko's fall is not a day or two, it's time to react calmly.<br/>
The yellow hair showed off as if it had come in a hurry, but even that gave Kise's appearance. It wasn't a lie that he posted on his SNS that he was growing his muscles due to his work, his body was a little different. He could have noticed it because they are Midorima and Kuroko.</p><p> </p><p> "What is this? I told you to eat well!"<br/>
"I'm eating well."<br/>
"Not vanilla shake!"<br/>
"That's what I was trying to say. The reason why Akashi decided to come in the evening is the same."<br/>
"What's ominous is that I'm weird, right?"<br/>
"Akashichi told you to be prepared if you are brought in for malnutrition again. Don't pretend you don't know!"<br/>
"I don't know about that."<br/>
"You have to eat everything he's got."<br/>
"That's right! Do you know how scared Akashichi was? I'm still getting goosebumps."</p><p> </p><p> I can't imagine an angry Akashi. Kuroko stiffened slightly when he saw Kise speak in a shiver. Even after years of being out of everyone's captains, the Generation of Miracles was still being treated as captain, and if not, Akashi now was more than Captain. Akashi refused, saying he didn't have to be treated as a captain, but he couldn't touch even the Generation of Miracles when deciding something, so no one could accept Akashi's refusal. Kuroko couldn't imagine what would happen when Akashi decided to come in the evening in such a rage.</p><p>"Both of you don't have time, so go back."<br/>
"Kurokochi?"<br/>
"I'll be sleeping here. So you two,"<br/>
"Don't think about running away."<br/>
"Kurokochi, if you're going to lie, don't let it be obvious. I can see it all."<br/>
"When I do this, just be a fool."<br/>
"No!"<br/>
"No!"</p><p> </p><p> He thought there would be even a chance to escape, but it wasn't the case. Neither Midorima nor Kise would be deceived. At other times, Kise would pretend what he wants, but this time nothing be to understand. Maybe a bit serious this time. Life has never been worse than before, so to think of it, it seemed to be self-inflicted. Kuroko had no intention of bringing up the subject first because he had nothing to say in that part.</p><p> </p><p> "It's almost time, so I'm going."<br/>
"MidoriMachi, are you already go?"<br/>
"I'm afraid I don't have enough time. Kuroko."<br/>
"What is it?"</p><p> </p><p> He held out his hand and it was a handkerchief on it. The white, folded handkerchiefs were Kuroko's Lucky items without asking. Kuroko said thank you that he felt sorry for his blunt answer. Midorima said, "It's no big deal." and adding that his glasses mended. Midorima, who left Kise until the end, worried about Kuroko till the end.</p>
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